Amakimbirane mu ngo aterwa n’ iki ?ahoshwa ate?

 

Ni kenshi abashakanye  bahura n’ ibigeragezo  bishingiye ahanini ku bintu bimwe na bimwe batumvikanaho.Icyo gihe kwifata ntimutongane  bishobora kugorana , kandi iyo intonganya zatangiye kurwanya ingeso mbi nko gutukana, gukankama bishobora kugora bamwe .Mu ngo nyinshi, umwe mu bashakanye ashobora kuba yifuza kuvuga icyo batumvikanaho mu buryo burambuye, mu gihe undi we aba adashaka intonganya ndetse akirinda ko bakivugaho.Rimwe na rimwe uko umwe mu bashakanye  agenda ashaka ko ikibazo cyavutse bakiganiraho  niko mugenzi we agenda agerageza kubyirinda .

Ikindi kintu dukwiye kumenya, ni uko umuryango umuntu yakuriyemo ushobora kugira uruhare ku buryo abona ibirebana n’uko abashakanye bagombye gushyikirana.Urugero nk’ umwe mu bashakanye wakuriye mu muryango w’abantu badakunda kuvuga menshi ndetse kenshi kuganira n’abandi bikamugora uzasanga  bibabaza mugenzi we  kubera ko we yakuriye mu muryango w’abantu bakunda kuganira.

Kuki abashakanye bagombye kwihatira gukemura ibibazo?

Abahanga mu birebana n’ishyingiranwa babonye ko inshuro umugabo n’umugore we babwirana ko bakundana, atari zo zigaragaza ko bazabana neza. Bagaragaje kandi ko kunezezanya mu birebana n’ibitsina hamwe no kugira amafaranga menshi, na byo atari iby’ingenzi cyane. Ahubwo, uko umugabo n’umugore bakemura ibibazo ibyo ari byo byose bivuka hagati yabo,nibyo bigaragaragaza neza ko bazagira icyo bageraho.

Kugira ngo wereke mugenzi wawe mubana ko umukunda , irinde amagambo akomeretsa.Uko ubuhanga ufite mu gushyikirana bwaba bungana kose cyangwa umuryango uwo ari wo wose waba warakuriyemo, niba wifuza gukemura amakimbirane neza, hari imvugo mbi ugomba kwirinda.

Tuvuge ko umwe mu bashakanye abwiye mugenzi we ati “dukwiriye kureba uko twagabanya amadeni dufata.” Undi na we akamubwira ati “ukabije gusesagura.” Ibyatangiye ari ikiganiro kirebana no kumenya uko umutungo w’umuryango wacungwa neza, mu kanya gato bishobora guhindukamo gucyurirana. Koko rero, iyo uwo mwashakanye ‘akanze izuru ryawe binyuze mu kugucyurira, nawe wumva ushaka “gukanda” irye umwihimuraho. Ariko kandi, kwihimura bituma umuntu agira uburakari kandi intonganya zikarushaho gukaza umurego.

Kwemera igitekerezo cy’uwo mwashakanye no kumusaba imbabazi kubera uruhare wabigizemo bihosha amakimbirane vuba.

Ubutaha nihavuka intonganya, uzibaze uti ‘ese gutega amatwi ibihangayikishije uwo twashakanye, hari icyo bintwaye? Ni uruhe ruhare naba nagize mu gutuma iki kibazo kivuka? Ni iki kimbuza gusaba imbabazi z’amakosa nakoze?’‘Ese naba ntita ku byiyumvo by’uwo twashakanye?”

Dore impamvu ebyiri zishobora gutuma gushyira iyo nama mu bikorwa bikugora.

Iya mbere, ni uko ushobora kutamenya ibitekerezo cyangwa ibyiyumvo by’uwo mwashakanye. Urugero, niba hari ibibazo bikunda guhangayikisha uwo mwashakanye kukurusha, ushobora kumva wamubwira uti “ariko nawe urakabya!” Ushobora kuba ufite intego yo kumufasha kubona icyo kibazo mu buryo bushyize mu gaciro.

Nyamara, abantu bahumurizwa na bene ayo magambo ni bake cyane. Yaba umugore cyangwa umugabo, buri wese aba akeneye kumenya ko uwo uwo akunda amwumva kandi ko yishyira mu mwanya we.

Ubwibone na bwo bushobora gutuma umuntu adaha agaciro ibitekerezo n’ibyiyumvo by’uwo bashakanye. Umuntu w’umwibone agerageza kwishyira hejuru binyuze mu guhora asuzugura abandi. Tekereza uko witwara iyo uwo mwashakanye akugejejeho ibitekerezo bye cyangwa ibimuhangayikishije. Ese amagambo yawe, ijwi ryawe cyangwa mu maso hawe, bigaragaza ko wishyira mu mwanya we? Cyangwa wihutira gusa naho upfukiranye ibyiyumvo bye?

Ubutaha uzisuzume urebe uko uvugisha uwo mwashakanye. Nusanga ibitekerezo bye utabiha agaciro gakwiriye cyangwa ukaba umubwira amagambo amutesha agaciro, uzahite umusaba imbabazi.
Abashakanye batabaye maso, na bo bashobora kugwa muri uwo mutego. Urugero; ese iyo uwo mwashakanye agukoreye ikintu cyiza, utangira kwibaza niba hari icyo ashaka ko umukorera cyangwa ko hari ikosa ashaka guhishira? Ese iyo uwo mwashakanye akoze ikosa, ubona ko ari ikimenyetso kigaragaza ko yikunda kandi ko atita ku bantu? Ese uhita uryongera ku yandi  makoza wibuka asa na’ayo yakoze mu gihe cyahise ?

Kora urutonde rw’ibintu byiza uwo mwashakanye yagukoreye, kandi ugaragaze impamvu zikwiyezaba zarabimuteye   

Ibyo ariko ntibishaka kuvuga ko urukundo rwizera ikivuzwe cyose. Ahubwo ruba rwiteguye kwiringira ikivuzwe. Urwo rukundo ntirukeka abantu amababa cyangwa ngo rubishishe. Abashakanye nibagaragarizanya urukundo nk’urwo, bazagira ibyishimo mu rugo rwabo.

Igitekerezo cy’Umusomyi

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *